Going to The Movies.

Ultraviolet: Botox Nation

Ok, so this past week I went to see 2 movies, which just about fulfils my movie quota for the month, sad, I know, but I don't really have the time. Anyway, the first picking was Ultraviolet, yet another one of those 'adapted-from-the-comic' movies. Generally it was okayyy. I was perfectly content staring at Milla pantene-perfect tresses throughout the entire movie. Anyway, the movie should have been re-titled Ultraviolet: Botox Nation. It was so heavily photo-shopped I felt like I was watching a Manga soap opera. The screenplay (you really had to squint to notice that there was dialogue)...well, there were as many wrinkles as there were spoken word...

(Milla leaps with the dexterity of a thousand cats, decapitating & castrating a thousand evil men..*doof* *doof* *znnnngg* *bish* "uhh!" *thump* *thump* *swish of perfect hair* *ziing* *rat-tat-tat (machine gun fire)* *bang! *bang!*)

"I have recovered the package"

(Milla gets chased by helicopter with big guns. She zips from rooftop to rooftop on her motocycle with the dexterity of a thousand gila monsters, *zoooooom* *zoooooom* *bang* *bang* *KABOOM!* *ping!* *crash!* *dust*)

"But...the package is just a boy"

(Milla escapes from fellow hemophages, running down staircases with the dexterity of a thousand milipedes. *doof* *doof* *znnnngg* *bish* "uhh!" *thump* *thump* *swish of perfect hair* *ziing* *rat-tat-tat (machine gun fire)* *bang! *bang!*)

"I have to save the little boy"

................

Actions speak louder than words, I suppose. But what if the action has nothing to do with the words? Anyway, in the end? A mediocore effort, with it's only saving grace? Milla's pantene tresses. I want them.

Soundtrack to My Life?

Tagged my Maya. I can't decide whether it's eerily perceptive or relatedly predictable. I think I'm going with eerily perceptive. There's too much reality in Life. Step 1: Put your ipod on shuffle mode. Step 2: Ask yourself these questions Step 3:See what song titles come up in response to your questions...Here goes..

1) How does the world see me?
Conceptions - 4Hero
It's instrumental and wonderfully ambiguous.

2) Will I have a happy life?
Song For The Dumped - Ben Folds Five
"So you wanted to take a break, Slow it down some and have some space. Well fuck you too. Give me my money back, Give me my money back..you bitch. I want my money back
(And don't forget to give me back my black T-Shirt)." So I guess the answer to my question is ... no.

3) What do people really think of me?
Taylor - Jack Johnson
"she just wanders around, unaffected by the winter winds, and she'll pretend that she's somewhere else, so far and clear, about two thousand miles from here.."

4) Do people secretly lust after me?
Cater 2 U - Destiny's Child
"Let me feed you, Let me run your bathwater, Whatever you desire, I'll squire..." Well, if that's any indication of what people want to do to me...Where do I sign?

5) How can I make myself happy?
Summertime - Ella Fitzgerald
"One of these mornings, You're going to rise up singing, Then you'll spread your wings, And you'll take to the sky..But till that morning, There's a'nothing can harm you, With daddy and mamma standing by.."

6) What should I do with my life?
Superunknown - Soundgarden
I think the song title speaks for itself.

7) What would be good advice for me?
Brown Eyed Girl - The Rolling Stones
"Laughing and a running hey, hey, Skipping and a jumping, In the misty morning fog with, Our hearts a thumpin' and you, My brown eyed girl,You my brown eyed girl."

8) What do i think my current theme song is?
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
"Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right..Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter..Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun..and I say it's all right." This song brings tears to my eyes. I love it.


9) What does everyone think my current theme song is?
Smoke Two Joints - Sublime
"Errrrr....."

10) What song will play at my funeral?
Time Keeps on Slipping - Del The Funky Homosapien
"I remake my universe every time I use a verse, To fulfill my destiny, emcees rest in peace, Side barriers provide care within, From impurities every word sees your attention like third degree, I subjugate you other fake performers while the bass of your face."

11) What type of men do you like?
Le Ciel Dans Une Chambre - Carla Bruni
"Quand tu es près de moi, Cette chambre n'a plus de parois, Mais des arbres oui, des arbres infinis, Et quand tu es tellement près de moi.." The type that make walls disappear. :)

12) What's my day going to be like?
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
I guess the song could not be more specific. I'll be staring at my phone all day.

13) Why am I here?
Every Breath You Take - Police
"Every little thing she does is magic..Everything she do just turns me on"

14) What will people remember me for?
More Than A Woman - Angie Stone
"You're the blood in my veins, You're the air I breathe on a hot summer day, You're like a shirt with no sleeves, What makes me a man, any fool could see, Youhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif're more than a woman to me.." Yes. I'd like to be remembered as a tank top. :P

15) Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Sexual Healing - Ben Harper
That's just creepy. Yes, take me away and heal my wounds with sex. NOW.

16) What will this year be about?
Crucify - Tori Amos
"Why do we crucify ourselves, Everyday I crucify myself, Nothing I do is good enough for you, Crucify myself, Everyday I crucify myself, And my heart is sick of being in chains..."

So there you go, some eerily accurate, some completely nonsensical. I tag Regina-George, Burger Queen, &

Crazy Dreams, Sleepless Nights.

I've been sleeping rather fitfully these past few days, often waking up with a splitting headache. Of course the first thought as I stumble groggily towards the bathroom is "Oh my god, I have brain cancer. I'm going to die." Although perhaps now I think it's more to do with sleeping with wet hair under the fan going at no. 3. Someone once told me that's a really bad thing to do because it 'freezes' the muscles in your neck, promoting knots...etc. Yeah, probably.

Anyway, the fitful nights have something to do with my dreams as well. I've been having these crazy dreams very night, most of which emotionally correspond with my current emotional state: perpetual frustration.

Dream 1: I'm walking from room to room. Each room in completely white and linear. Furniture, sparse walls, spacious. For some reason the expanse of the room unsettles me and I start feeling claustraphobic. In my dream I start panicking and pinch my self to wake up so I can escape. I wake up, fall back to sleep, then have the same dream all over again. Which leads to me ask - Do I really wake up?

Dream 2: I receive a silver box in white wrapping. I open it, and inside is more wrapping and more boxes..I never get to the bottom of it before I wake up.

Dream 3: I'm not in this dream. I'm watching. One of my co-stars is in a training classroom for the gestapo. They're learning how to draw their own blood with a blood pressure gauge attached to their arm. On the table is The Homecoming manifesto. At the desk in front of him is a man that looks like Chin Peng. He is reading The Homecoming manifesto and comes across our names. They start debating if this is an encoded hit list. Pinteresque communist nazis. Hm.



Dream 4: I'm being taught how to sing comimc verse ditties by a singing portrait of Deborah Kerr. She punctuates each line with a soprano "yes!" or "NoooO!".I wake up humming these ditties, but forget them 15 minutes later.

Does anyone know a good shrink? *sigh*